Sunday, March 6, 2011

What if...

What if I had never dated him? What if I had never gone back after he was unfaithful? What if I had been upfront with how he made me feel when he did exactly the opposite of what he was saying? What if I was thinner? What if I had stayed in that program or job? What if I had shown up at church the day that dude wanted to meet me? There had always been a lot of “what ifs” in my mind when I thought about past or possible relationships. But as I drove home from my connect group, I again got a glimpse into what God has been planting in my heart.

Our group is called the “Power of Pursuit” and is directed toward single ladies in the church who are committing themselves to seek God’s best for their lives in dating. Tonight we had a lovely couple who shared their story and a whole lotta wisdom. A few of us spoke after, and the sentiment was the same: “Man,THAT was inspiring!” You know that stirring you get when God is doing much more on the inside than you can even put into words? Well, I got that feeling on the drive home.

What if I was meant to be single right now? Now hear me clearly…right NOW. Not forever. Just right now. Because guess what…I am single right now. And, guess what. I’m actually okay with that. God planted a seed in me about 2 years ago that I deserved more than I could hope for, or imagine, when it comes to a husband. Every so once in a while, I allow myself to “what if” my way out of that by listening to the world, and sometimes, even friends that try to convince me that my standards are too high, I'm not doing enough, or that I'm running out of time. 

What if it’s okay that I’m not in a relationship because God knew that I needed to be single right now to get this work done? 

What if He's building me up now, because whatever is coming down the line, is going to require some-thing and some-one special that He's equipping me for?

What if this desire to know God better and His will for my life is what my focus should be on right now?

My heart has been convicted: there’s no “what ifs” about it. 

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