Friday, January 7, 2011

Something Beautiful

Ever hear a song differently? You know…a song that you’ve listened to a kajillion times…and then just one day it suddenly is saying something completely different to your heart?

I was researching for a job interview and was feeling like a match had been struck inside. And as I sat thinking to myself, “hmmm…maybe this is a new direction,” I heard the Holy Spirit say, “a new song to be sung.” I immediately googled it because I honestly didn’t recognize it as part of a scripture…and there it was: Psalm 40.

I waited patiently for the LORD;
   He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
   out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
   and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
   a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
   and put their trust in him.

I marinated in that scripture for a bit. I’m sure I must have heard it before, but it’s amazing what you hear when you are listening. I’m in a place in my life that I haven’t felt I’ve been before: in a sea of ‘what’s to comes’ and the unknowns but not feeling like I’m drowning. Some moments come that I feel like I’m being tossed and turned in the thrashing waves, yet it only takes a moment before I’m feeling like the seas are calming and I’m floating along in my life jacket.

The interview went well. And I am confident in saying that if it’s for me…then it’s mine. If it’s not for me, He will provide. He already has. If anything, I feel like a new song is being put in my mouth. Initially, I thought it was my job search direction. And although I still believe that’s part of it, I realized driving home from the interview that it may also be something else…Something Beautiful.

And the water is rising quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side.

The lyrics I had listened to and sang repeatedly reached out and grabbed me at that moment. For years when the waters rose, the fear would overtake me. But I find myself in a time of my life where, for all intents and purposes, I should be drowning; and I’m not. I’m actually pressing into God more and He is showing up…big time.

And that’s the beautiful part. I’m glad that I’m reaching for Him now instead of feeling like He’s turning away from me. It’s in those times that are the darkest, those times that we find ourselves either figuratively (or literally) on our knees that He is within our reach.

I finally get it.

And that *is* something beautiful.