Tuesday, November 1, 2011

My "and" Moment

I got a job!




I so am not saying or thinking of that lightly. A little over a month ago I got down on my hands and knees and asked God to open a door.


Not because I deserved it.


Not because I didn’t believe it would happen.


Not because I couldn’t take it another day.


But because I was ready to take the next step in this journey and I knew God would be the only one to open the door in this crazy job market. It was a "Sun Stand Still" prayer. And He delivered…again.


This past week, as I wait for the job to actually start, I have been experiencing a myriad of emotions and attacks. Yes, that sneaky little enemy, the master of confusion, is definitely on the prowl trying to steal the joy and glory of this answered prayer. However, that has only made me more on guard and excited about what’s to come. Waiting for the moment that something else would be revealed to me.


And then it happened…my “and” moment.


I woke up this morning from the second dream this past week that riled up every “ugh” feeling imaginable. “Sure, you have a job…but you’re still alone,” is what I heard. Such a low blow…but equally obvious of what is going on. So I did what I usually do, I pulled out my trusty life verse to read and meditate on. The verse I pointed to the day I first believed and asked God to ‘prove it to me’: Philippians 3:13-14

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.


The “and” in that verse smacked me in the face.


Have I been focusing my walk more on the “forgetting what is behind” and less on the “straining toward what is ahead?” It made me think of the lesson at Celebrate Recovery a couple weeks ago: seven reasons we get “stuck.”


Forgetting what happened and pressing on to my future CAN happen at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for this spiritual, “aha” moment that takes all the “ugh” feelings away and all the memories with it. At times, I believed that my recovery would only be complete when I forgot about the past. What a great way to keep me stuck at my life as it is “now” and not in pursuit of what He has for me down the road!


I love what Dr. Grant C. Richison says in his Verse-by-Verse commentary:


It is not enough to forget the things of the past. We should think of things ahead. There are horizons over yonder. There is so much unconquered spiritual territory we cannot waste time on past failures. We should invite God to push back our horizons. What would God do if we would let him? The best is yet ahead for the child of God. The best and most fruitful years are yet before the spiritually dynamic person.


So as I prepare for this new job, new opportunities, and the celebration of my 1st year at Celebrate Recovery, I find myself having my “and” moment.


Forgetting what is behind AND straining toward what is ahead.


AND believing that the “best is yet ahead” for this child of God.