Sunday, February 27, 2011

I Want To See!!

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

I’ve come to that time again. That time where I know that I need to refocus. It was inevitable. It’s not like I haven’t been here before. That time in my journey where all things seem anything but focused.

I. Just. Want. To. See!!

There is no easier way to say it. I’m tired, Lord. I want you to show me now what I’m supposed to be seeing. I’m tired of waiting. 

And even as I type that, I already see the immaturity of my current state. I know that even in this time of ‘waiting’ that some great things are happening in me. There are just those days that I let my flesh take over…the ‘worry’ of what will come. Why not just FOCUS on what I can do?

Some days, I feel like I’m in the optometry office of life…and I’m sitting in front of the phoropter…that machine they sit you in front of to test your vision. They say “this or that” as they change the frames back and forth. Sometimes it’s clear and then it’s fuzzy. Sometimes it’s fuzzy and then even fuzzier. But in the end…the vision is corrected to what’s perfect for you.

I feel like I’m midway through that exam…and even though I KNOW that I KNOW the end result will be perfect vision…perfect corrected vision…I somehow find myself wanting to just jump to the end of the test. Why do I insist that God take me to the end without correcting what must be corrected so I can have that perfect vision? I certainly don’t want to end the test now…not while I’m seeing fuzzy! I want my vision for my life to be in perfect focus with His vision for me. 

So I take a step back and I allow God to continue to work and correct me. At the same time, I need to take a step forward, and refocus my commitment to the things I do have control over. I know that I do these two thing, His vision for my life will start to become clearer. I'm excited and expectant at what I will see.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Courage Is...

I’ve been thinking a lot about courage lately. Probably because of the Godchicks ‘Night of Courage’ in a few weeks, and the questions posed to our team by our lovely leader Bonnie: What was your most courageous moment in life? What gives you courage? What does courage mean to you? 

Great questions.

When I was a kid, courage meant standing up to the school yard bully, or not being afraid of the ‘monster’ my brother said was hiding in my closet. But as I grew up, I realized that courage was more than just the absence of an obvious physical threat. Courage was also who we become and how we respond in spite of a challenge or fear. Courage seems to be one of those wonderful gifts from God that I want more of as I see and experience it through others.

Courage is my 5 year old nephew who will walk up to any kid on the playground and say “Hi, I’m Max! Want to play?”

Courage is my friend who is able to pick up her 90-lb son who is not able to walk (yet!) and get him in and out of school, therapy appointments and basketball practice.

Courage is the Pastor who stands up in front of a congregation each week to share the message of the love of God, believing that someone will hear it and make the most important decision of their life; while knowing others may critique his/her every word.

Courage is the person who walks into a Celebrate Recovery meeting for the first time, sometimes not even knowing why they did.

Courage is the one who chooses to believe.

What does courage mean to you?